Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Funny Dictionary Definitions


CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions

LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later

PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in 'ZERO', instead of the first letter in 'OPPORTUNITY'.

OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway “SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage

CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

FATHER: A banker provided by nature